not alone in my head: reflections

opt in leadership

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 05:17:33 GMT

So here it comes: I probably hate leadership. I hate inspiration, motivation, and persuasion. I especially hate persuasion when that's a thin mask that's trying to hide manipulation. I hate what most people would seem to consider leadership.

I'm much more for the opt in: "follow me." Here's what I think is best, and hopefully you agree. Maybe you don't, then speak up. Let's talk about it and discover together what's best. I'm for earning trust, not manufacturing it. There are two kinds of things you do in the world: things you really want to do, and everything else you do. I want to lead people who really want to follow me (as I follow Jesus...I AM talking about a ministry context).

I don't want to artificially manufacture trust. The equation for fabricated trust is really quite simple: flattery, falsify humility, feed both egos and insecurities, claim credit for anything that paints you in a good light, never challenge or criticize, get others to do your dirty work (or blame it on someone else). You can defer your other desires by subjugating them to the drive for power and control and influence.

I just don't want to lead people who don't want to be led by me. That makes me uncomfortable. I have inspired others before, motivated them, pushed them... but I hope it's never been on the strength of my personality, but built on a foundation of what is true and what is wise. I have seen some of inspiration I've caused, and it scares me, it's a thin line from there to building my own kingdom.

I don't mind saying to someone: you should do it this way. I don't mind saying, this is how you should think. I've got tons of opinions. Chances are, if I say something, then I've thought a lot about it. However, I don't want to say this to people who don't want to hear it from me.

I refuse to lead those who don't want to be led by me. Just because I can lead someone doesn't mean I should. Free will plays an important role in our salvation, shouldn't we model this with our leadership?

what our small group will be reading

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 06:49:36 GMT

Our small groups is going to read through Philippians the next few weeks, now that we're doing with our "40 days of purpose" small group materials. Here are some of the verses that are sticking out to me:

"he who began a good wok in your will carry it on tocompletion until the day of Christ Jesus"

"Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the Word of Go more courageously and fearlessly"

"For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain"

"It is more necessary for you that I remain"

"whatever happen, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel"

I haven't read very far, but these were the verses I was thinking about.

against spite and malice

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 07:23:32 GMT

I’ve been reading Obadiah the couple of days. At first I paused on the third verse, “The pride of your heart has deceived you.” I love verses about the heart. The stuff that happens on the inside is so convoluted for most of us. In my opinion, this is because we take so little time to reflect inwardly.

So, after some days, I sat back and was ready to take in the larger picture of the book. Of course, the whole thing is only 21 verses, so perhaps if I weren’t so slow I would have been ready for the whole thing on the first reading.

If I could subtitle this book, I would go for something like, “Against Spite and Malice.”

The trap described by the prophet is particularly insidious, for it persists easily in the heart because it devours a food that is in ample supply: the misfortune of others. For most of us, we can easily adapt an overly elevated stance, a point of view that sees in the false light of “I’m better than you because you have failed in some way.”

While the prophet describes the foolishness of spite and malice in a nation, it would be crazy to deny that these things aren’t also committed regularly by individuals. There was no Edom and Israel without Esau and Jacob.

We are held fast by spite when we realize the misfortune of another and believe we are better and do nothing to help. In the aftermath, we ought not

(a) Hold them in contempt, rejoicing in their weakness and boasting in their trouble.

(b) Trespass where we don’t belong; devaluing them and taking what’s not ours.

When someone else is disgraced, how do you respond? Do you look to “expand your territory?” Do you feel better about your life? Do you look for personal gain (real or imagined) when another is at a disadvantage? Obadiah would have some strong warnings for you.

This road begins with the awareness of another’s doom. It matters not if that they are lying in the bed they made. The focus is on our response. Pride is deceitful, concealing weakness and projecting a false strength. The self deception leads us to believe, “I will be safe, that will never happen to me!”

In the end, we think we are better for their loss, better without gaining on our own. THIS ILLUSTION OF PROGRESS PARALYSIZES... It fosters an insecure and weak and insincere hope that inevitably shatters when we need it the most: when we have fallen.

THEY HAVE FALLEN, what is in your heart?

YOU WILL FALL, how devastating are the effects?

failed martyrs

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 14:59:58 GMT

failed martyrs are the people who absolutly must have others aroung them feel the pain of their sufferings

they are not sharing their pain, needing another to help them bear it with them

instead they glory in their pain and seek the attention of others

if we loved people like we ought, there would be fewer failedmartyrs, there would be saftey for the few

they are seeking attention, will giving it cost us much, will it require us to set down anything of value?

the better question is this, will our attention help or hinder?

love by that measure ought to guide us

reflections: Joel

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 04:52:04 GMT

Return to me, with all your heart
With fasting and weeping and mourning
Rend your heart and
not your garments

The great challenge in this passage is to consider, do I need to return to the Lord? Is there an area in my life I need to surrender to God?

The great hope is that a return is possible, this is a particularly powerful hope, because in this we experience God's grace.

I love the interchange between the internal and the external. Returning to God is a full movement of the heard, and such desires are always expressed in word and deed.

I love the interchange between the voluntary and the involuntary. A hear that returns to God chooses to fast and cannot help but to weep. What am I choosing as a result of my full heart returning to God? Where are the uncontrollable expressions that reveal (betray?) the movements within?

Reflections on Psalm 84

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 15:27:05 GMT

I was in a cryptic mood last night, and what follows are the results. I wish I were poetic, instead I'm just obscure. Normally I would have taken extra time to explain more, but this post is already going to be long.

How lovely is your dwelling place. O Lord almighty. My soul yearns, even faints for the courts of the Lord. My hear and my flesh cry out for the living God.
The earthly minded loves his own home and his comforts. His soul still yearns, but not for the presence of God. Desire is inescapable, but its focus is unfixed.

Blessed are those who dwell in your house, they are ever praising you.
What is true about desire is also true for admiration. We have all seen seen the differences between good and better and good and bad. Experience doesn't mean wisdom, and I feel most are infants their showering of praise. Value is known, but not understood. Many still think two shiny nickels are better than a well worn quarter. The longer we live with God, the more we praise the right things. Beware the bright lights that blind.

Blessed are those who's strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage... they go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.
I don't know what to make of this, the bit of going from strength to strength. I'm afraid my own assumptions will get in the way so I reserve judgment and ask that God works this in me in spite of my lack of my limitations. Further reflection is needed, but I don't want my ignorance to be a hindrance to God's spirit working in me.

Hear my prayer... Listen to me O God.
What sort of confidence is this?
Is this entitlement or is this faith?
How can we understand the difference?
Harder still, how can we be sure to discern the difference within our hearts?

My Favorites from Ecclesiastes

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 01:47:11 GMT

There are many ways to define a person, and today I choose to be known by my favorite scriptures from Ecclesiastes. (I left a few out)

meaningless, meaningless, utterly meaningless. Everything is meaningless
The eye never has enough seeing
there is no remembrance of men of old
What a heavy burden God has laid on men
The more knowledge, the more grief
I thought in my heart, "Come now, I will test you"
Then I turned my thoughts, to consider wisdom, and also madness and folly
So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me
A time to kill, a time to heal; a time to weep, a time to laugh
He has also set eternity in the hearts of men
And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man's envy
There was a man all alone, he had neither son nor brother
Guard your steps when you go to the house of God
God is in heaven, you are on earth, let your words be few
The more the words, the less the meaning
It is better to heed a wise man's rebuke than to listen to the song of fools
Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit
God has made one as well as the other
Do not pay attention to every word you hear
There is something else meaningless that occurs on the earth
The fool lacks sense and shows everyone how stupid he is
Skill will bring success
You cannot understand the work of God
The teacher searched to find just the right words